Shift Reports aka How to Save A Zombie
Saved by Dino Toots
So reporting is a huge part of what we do here. We are in these worlds 24/7 and honestly know the content, users, and story better than our clients after awhile. We gather extremely valuable information on trends, likes, dislikes, bugs, suggestions, etc. and communicating that is definitely a high priority.
To that end, each staffer files a shift report in our BaseCamp. This isn’t just to management, but rather everybody involved with the project views them, so that each shift is prepared from the last. Sometimes, these reports spark interesting conversations in our little society of a company.
I read a Tweet by @storybird calling the the tweet bots “Zombies” and I just had to share this exchange after Chase filed a shift report in one of our projects, Webosaurs. (Edited of course for proprietary information and parts of the reports non-essential to the story.)
–Amy
Chase Tue, 4 Aug at 2:38pm
Chase
August 4th, 2009
1-2:30pm
Took the dinos on a military expedition today. It was SUCH a blast! We crept around the areas of Webosaurs island, getting attacked by bugs and monsters hiding in the trees. We got to Sanoran Sands and they had me test out the drinking water. Unfortunately, it turned me into a zombie and I chased them around until Chipmunk saved me with a toot to the face. Apparently thats how you save a zombie, you fart on them.
this sounds about right, Chase. I received this report today…
Webosaurs in-world bug report
User:
xxxxxx
Location:
/world/soggy-bottom-swamp/
Description:
someone killed a dino and the body is at soggybottomswamp
Hahahaha… hold up a sec, there were no dino killings nor were we in soggy bottom swamp. But that is awesome.
hahahaha Chase! If you save a zombie by farting on them, how do you kill one?
well shoot em in the head of course! you wouldnt last two seconds in the zombie apocolypse
Oh, like a dino-murderer would just admit it!
I’ll take it off my resume. 🙁
Well, if a toot saves a zombie, wouldn’t it make sense that burping would kill them?
Chase is on the right track. My research shows that the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. You must decapitate them or shoot them with a silver bullet. The silver will of course destroy the brain tissue infected with the zombie virus.
The best weapon for decapitation is a long handled axe, though it’s important to practice the use of this weapon before the time comes – don’t just go swinging an axe around during the crisis apocalypse – you could get yourself hurt.
Further reading can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628
(yes, I’m actually reading this. No, I won’t tell you why)
Any bullet can be used as a zombie. The point is to destroy the brain. This can also be done with a baseball bat.
Now the real subject of debate is whether or not you can kill one by snapping its neck. Any thoughts?
Snapping it’s neck won’t work (see page 47 in the survival guide).
That would work on humans bc it destroys the blood flow to the brain. Zombies don’t have bloodflow, and thus neck snapping wouldn’t help.
Chase – I do like where you’re going with alternative brain destroying methods though. I think you’re onto something.
Yeah, but seeing as guns, bullets, axes and other forms of slicin and dicin’ weapons aren’t allowed on Webos -I’m sticking with burps 😛
Good point Crystal. Webosaurs does not allow weapons.
Luckily, Texas encourages them. Any other ideas for destroying brain tissue? We can compile the notes for later use.
Fire.. fire works especially well. If you have a good flamethrower or something of the same effect you can take out a few at once. Its come in handy many times
Sara Tue, 4 Aug at 4:37pm
Sara/Carbo
8/4/09
2:30 – 4pm
Well aware my shift report is going to be big snooze-fest compared to zombie killing…
Very dramatic shift, Chase!