Avoid Pig Wrestling

By Sanya Weathers

You’ve heard the saying. If not, it goes like this: “Never mud wrestle with a pig. You end up covered in mud and the pig likes it.” Those of you who have read my blog know that my usual version of this epigram uses a more pungent word than “mud.”

What this means is that there are some kinds of negativity that can’t be addresses with open, honest communication. Here are my tips for dealing with the situation:

– Resist the urge to explain. When someone is telling a lie about you or your product, it’s tempting to go through all the reasons why the liar is wrong. Don’t. Your explanation will draw attention to the situation, and the longer the explanation, the more likely that neutral bystanders might think you’re protesting too much. Make your responding statement very clear and very short. I recommend “That is a lie. The truth is (ten words or less).” Repeat it, and don’t fall for the old gag of someone slightly rephrasing the same question in hopes of getting a different answer.

– Laugh. What’s the only thing anonymous crowds like more than a public hanging? A joke at someone else’s expense. If you must comment on a bad situation, be funny about it. Mock the person telling lies, if you can do it without making fun of something that person can’t help. (Gender, race, medical condition, marital/parental problems are all off limits.) Not only will you make your point more effectively, and make it in a way that’s more likely to spread fast, but you’ll enrage your enemy to such an extent that they’ll say something even more ludicrous and create a feedback loop you can exploit.

– Solve the underlying problem, if possible. There are two types of pigs trying to entice you into the mud pit. One type just wants attention. He’s a parasite, using your high profile to raise his own. See above about mockery. The other type is someone who was once a huge fan of your product, and feels personally injured in some way. Were expectations unmet? Was he slighted in some way? Did he lose something of value? There’s no enemy like a former friend. Solve the problem, and fix the broken process that allowed the problem to happen.

If you can’t fix the underlying problem (or if the person in question is simply beyond reason), realize that you will never, ever convince that person of anything. Do not waste resources or energy beyond a certain point. Easier said than done, but you’ve got to prioritize.

– Be consistent. Pick an approach, and don’t deviate from it. If one day you’re denouncing the liar, and the next day joking about it, and the day after that you’re pretending you can’t hear questions on the topic, you’re not going to convince anyone that you’re innocent. You’ll look like you’re strategizing. If you’re the target of an attack, openly strategizing your response leaves the impression that you did something worth attacking.

– If you’re in a hole, stop digging. If everything you’re trying is making the situation worse, stop trying to do anything. Don’t act, don’t talk, don’t write. Give yourself some breathing room, and remember – this too shall pass.