5 Bizarre Conference Rules
I’ve recently seen an influx of articles on the need for schmoozing and revisiting social skills. Two of the best so far are this article from Peter Bregman about his SXSW conference going experience and “Has Screen Time Killed Your Schmoozing Skills” by Jessica Stillmen and it reminded me of a few things. First, the Digital Kids Conference is coming up on April 25th and 26th and second, most people do not enjoy going to conferences because of the large crowds of unknown people. So on the latter, I thought I would share a few of my hard-learned lessons in hope that those of you who are still molding and shaping your conference-going persona, can really take advantage of all the Digital Kids Conference has to offer.
Rule 1: Get over yourself.
Nobody is paying attention to you – so get over yourself. What’s that, you say? You may think that’s harsh. It’s not. Just like you’re sitting there feeling awkward or uncomfortable or wondering if your tuna sandwich made your breath stinky; others are wondering if you noticed their baby’s spittle on their shirt, their onion breath, or whether or not they put deodarant on that morning. Trust me; no one has time to think about you – unless you make them.
Rule 2: Make them think about you: Shock and Awe.
Now that you’ve realized that the person next to you is really not thinking about you AND had tuna fish with onions for lunch, please turn to them and ask, “Did you have tuna fish for lunch?”
Whoa?! What do you want me to do?
Shock and then awe them. It doesn’t give them the opportunity to put up any defenses. Disarm them and then introduce yourself. My other favorite is getting a glimpse of someone’s name tag and then walking up to them as if we’ve been friends for decades. It sometimes backfires when people are wearing someone else’s badge, but it’s still a fun conversation starter and they spend those first few moments trying to remember how they know you instead of thinking about all the ways they could be self-conscious and then they feel the sweet relief when I let them off the hook by saying we have never met.
Rule 3: If at first you don’t succeed…
Forget ‘em. There are hundreds or thousands of other more interesting people to meet and talk to! But…
Rule 3.5: If you do succeed… Be Authentic!
Hey, you may be at a Gaming Conference and that hardcore gamer may want to talk about his My Little Pony collection. Let him! He’s passionate and talking. If you have no idea what they are talking about – that’s cool, ask them. Asking questions increases your knowledge! And knowledge makes you more interesting. No matter how absurd… be authentic! Everybody has something about them that they are passionate about – be interested in what they are saying and if you’re not, steer the conversation towards something relevant – such as the sessions at the conference. Or find someone who might be interested in their conversation and be a connector!
Rule 4: Don’t monopolize your new friend’s time.
There are hundreds to thousands of people to meet. See Rule 3. Make your conversations impressionable and short. Get their name right (Don’t call me Regina for instance – that’s not my name. By a show of hands, who has the Ting Ting’s song in their head now?) Find out what they are working on, think about how you can help them out, and make the conversation memorable. Give them your business card (poor Seth Macfarlane – but that’s a longer story for another day) or take their card with the expectation that you guys will connect after the conference or at a later date. Don’t be offended at the short conversation! It’s cool, it’s actually a sign of respect!
Rule 5: Go to the right conference.
So, you’re now at the conference, less self-conscious, chatting people up and feeling the groove, but you’re finding that you’re not necessarily meeting the people who want to have the conversations that you do… Well, I suggest planning on going to the sessions that you enjoy. Remember: Birds of a feather (typically) flock together. You want to talk tech, attend tech sessions. You want to talk community, hit up those sessions. If you want to talk Digital Kids and attend a Salesforce conference where Metallica is headlining, we think you may have gone to the wrong conference and suggest attending Digital Kids. But most of all, remember you are there to enjoy the conference and learn something new.
On that note, I will sign off and say that I try to meet 10 new people every day. I will be at the Digital Kids Conference and would love to meet some new faces and say hello to a few I’ve met before. Please don’t be shy, come up and say hello – as if we are old friends and I promise to eat something stinky for lunch!
-Reg Weiner | VP Professional Services | Metaverse Mod Squad, Inc.